Overall Thoughts: As uninspired, inoffensive and meh as its title.
What do you expect out of a movie called Secret Headquarters? Not much. Jerry Bruckheimer and his crew attempted to create the next Spy Kids franchise here, and made the kids a little bit older. Will Ferrell as a superhero? Will that help parents tune in? With how popular superhero movies are these days (though they seem to have hit their peak), could this serve as a good gateway into the genre for older kids?
The answer to all of this is maybe. Because, Secret Headquarters may be watchable, but it's not a movie I don't think kids will be begging to watch multiple times. And it's not clever or written well enough to really make it worthwhile for adults. The actors are fine (well, all except one), and the visual effects are decent, but none of it comes together in an especially memorable package. If this movie would have come out maybe in the mid-2000's, it probably would have made a bigger splash.
What did I like about this movie? First, there's definitely a genuine father-son reconciliation story here. While it's not given the best emotional depth, there's still at least a couple of pretty decent moments here between Ferrell and Walker Scobell's Charlie. Second, I'm fine with the film not taking itself too seriously. While that has been the case with quite a few superhero movies, it keeps it from descending into too cheesy territory.
Ferrell is a solid out-of-the-box choice for the main superhero character. His humble, winsome personality creates a more sincere, "there's more to him than you think" execution to his character. His superhero backstory also works pretty well. Meanwhile, Michael Pena is given the villain role. And he hams it up, too much. It's to the point where he tries too hard to be funny, and it comes across a little bit annoying in places.
The preteen/early teen cast is fine. Scobell brings enough heart and emotion to make his character sympathetic. Meanwhile, the other characters don't quite fall into "kid gang" stereotypes (except for Charlie's best friend, affectionately known as "Burger"). There's also no "politically correct" elements here either. That being said, I didn't seem to appreciate this cast of kids being a little profane and slightly off-color at times. That could put some parents on alarm here.
On the real downside, the overall story lacks much-needed world-building. Spy Kids took the mission to other countries and made it a swooping James Bond story for kids. This one takes place 85% of the time in an underground lair, and the other 10% at the kids' middle school. And, unlike Sky High, which had a lot of interesting touches, this one is as bland and uninteresting as it comes.
Also, the script is relatively unfunny and stays predictable without taking any real risks. The "play it safe" approach might be enough for kids watching, but keeps it from becoming memorable at the same time. The Spy Kids movies were novelties and had elements that were surprising as well. This does not have any of that.
In the end, it was wise for Paramount to send this to streaming. Because this movie never quite rises to the challenge as must-see entertainment. It's too generic, too safe and too "tryhard" at times to really make it something worth your time. Kids will probably find it fun, and it has a few positive things working in its' favor. But, you could do better than this as well.
Grade: C-
Is this movie family-friendly? Secret Headquarters is rated PG for "violence, action, language and some rude humor." There's some explosions, people getting ransacked and thrown about, and some superpowered action violence here and there. A few mild gashes are seen, but other than that (and a few people sucked through a portal), there's almost no body count here (except for one henchman shot off-screen). A few moments of flirtatious, "she's hot" like behavior. Some language includes five uses of "h***" (all from children), one each of "d***", "crap" and "p***", one near s-word, and a handful of uses of "oh my g**". A few bathroom jokes include a villain farting, a comment asking about how superheroes go to the restroom and some burping. Kids make some irresponsible choices such as speeding past police in a superpowered car. In the end, this is OK for ages 9 and up depending on families' overall tolerance of content.
